How to calculate the family budget and not quarrel?
What to do? You can ask a person to change, giving maximum evidence of benefit. For example, select the appropriate budget type. You can change yourself, adjust your behavior and follow the rules that will help avoid conflicts: discuss daily expenses (if it seems to one spouse that the second spends money only on pleasure), inform each other in advance if you plan to spend a large amount.
The second very important reason - the lack of agreement before the wedding. Of course, they don't wave their fists after the fight. But if you are not married and are just planning a family, do not forget to discuss this together:
- Who will earn in our family? One or both? And if I go on maternity leave, do I need extra income?
- How to spend money?
- Will we have a “common”?
- How will we distribute the budget during pregnancy, childbirth?
- Is credit life possible for both of us?
- Will we postpone it? If so, how much? And for what?
- Will we buy our own housing or rent?
- What will be common to us, and what will be personal?
If you are serious about family life, it will be more profitable to put aside thoughts like: “Aha, I’ll start asking - run away” (not run away, but understand your seriousness), “Let’s figure it out” (later you will have no time to understand) unexpectedly to find out that your husband is a miser), “Reluctance, spoil all romance” (well, this is generally infantilism and unvaccinated financial literacy).
If you want a successful family budget, you should discuss everything. It's not for nothing that a number of financiers call the creation of a family "the merger of two companies into one", and the spouses are offered to act as a team of investors.
Types of family budgets and who they suit
All revenues are in one wallet. Money takes both out of necessity. Costs are planned jointly.
Suitable for families in which trust between spouses is great.
Not suitable for stingy and wasteful people.
Money adds up to one pot, but someone controls them alone.If the second half will require money for personal needs, you have to ask the "owner".
It is suitable for families of the patriarchal lifestyle, where the husband is the earner and manager. Then the wife will be easier to give the right to dispose of money at its discretion, or to assume this responsibility.
Not suitable for those who can not, do not like to ask.
With this type of budget, spouses decide how much they put in a common wallet, and how much they leave for personal needs. Here it is necessary to calculate in advance how much the apartment, food, and child goes to the apartment. The required amount is deferred, the rest is considered pocket expenses. This type of budget helps to feel the community in the family and at the same time feel its financial independence.
It is suitable for spouses with approximately the same income, as well as stingy people (such planning brings up, helps to understand how much money actually goes to a communal flat, products, etc., and also disaccustomed to save on the necessary).
Each spouse has their own income, and disclose both of them at their discretion. For general expenses, 50 to 50 (total travel, clothes, meals, training of the child, furniture) are thrown off.Some spouses borrow from each other and return the money.
Suitable for people who find it difficult to share with others, as well as people who are not accustomed to advertise their income.
Not suitable for spouses with the highest degree of trust and generous people. Usually in families with the opinion “We are one family, how can we share something?” The question of a separate budget does not arise.
Important note: none of the third parties have the right to impose their ideal budget on you, because all people are different. The main thing is that the budget view satisfies both of you.
How to eliminate difficulties if one family member does not work?
“I will not buy tomatoes because I do not eat them myself”
It’s easier to choose the type of budget if both are working and the income is about the same. If only a man receives a salary, difficulties arise more often than it can be assumed. And pronouncing the phrase “you are a man - a getter in a family” as old as the world does not always help. Often a man stops noticing his wife’s contribution to the family — cooking, cleaning, raising a child and caring for him. In addition, a woman has to ask for money for a family, and her husband as a earner wants to know where and why?
What to do?
- If both spouses are satisfied that the wife is a housewife, and while the man is reluctant to give you money, one should express his concern.
- Do not hesitate to ask a man questions: "Why do you limit my expenses, control purchases?" If you do not get a reasonable answer, you should find out what causes the partner to manipulate you. What is he afraid of in your behavior? Most likely, the reason lies again in the unconscious, and this is not your fault, but your past negative experience.
“I won't let you work”
Sometimes men do not let women to work. Usually this is due to jealousy, the fear of losing the status of a breadwinner or the fear of losing home comfort.
What to do?
- If you really want to work, you will have to talk with your husband, assuring him that with the new work, nothing will change radically, but, on the contrary, some things will be easier to implement. And do not forget the specifics: for example, suggestions how to keep the same home comfort (everyone tidies up for themselves, or we invite the housekeeper) or how you who work will collect the necessary amount for repairs much faster.
- Tell how important self-realization is for you, what benefits it will bring (“I will be kinder / more cheerful / I will be less sick / we will buy sweets that we currently do not allow ourselves”).
"I myself will not go to work"
If your man is not an Alphonse and is happy to perform household duties, is happy to care for children - there is nothing wrong with that. Each of us has our own talents, right? Some men will not be dragged from their children by their ears, but they are prepared not worse than the most famous chefs. If the contribution of the husband to the family is not less than yours, even scandals on this topic should not be raised.
If a man requires money, little is invested in the family - do not finance, expel to work. The inaction of a man in a family is dangerous for him.
Stash of family and financial ideas
- Save 20% of each income per month. If you can not reach to 20, start with 10% or at least 5%. Should develop the habit of postponing. Postpone immediately after receiving the income, and not in anticipation of the next, when there will be nothing to postpone.
- If possible, get rid of debts and loans - they do not lead to financial well-being.
- Keep records of income and expenses. This is not tediousness, but clarity, which helps to fight stubbornness and extravagance.
- Do not be afraid to radically revise the budget. There are no iron-set figures: the level of earnings and prices varies, children grow up, preferences, hobbies, etc. change.
Opinion of our readers
Sergey, a sysadmin
"Should a woman work in a family depends on several factors. Does a man have enough salary for a family to live? If the salary is not enough, then here, undoubtedly, the woman should also go to work and bring income to the family. If the salary of a man completely covers the needs of the family financially, then here again two branches of development of events appear.
- A woman likes to do housework and she does not want to work. Then there is no reason for her to go to work and change the pleasant care of the house to make money that the family does not need.
- A woman wants to go to work. Then this is exactly what she should do, and a man should fully support her. And the woman should find work for the soul, to enjoy this process.
What should be the budget? It is necessary to find out whether the man’s income is enough for everything. If it is not enough, then a part of the woman's income must be taken into account when forming the expenditure. The simplest and most competent is to pay some systematic payments from a woman’s salary (loan payment, rent, etc.). The rest of the woman is free to spend at her discretion, so to speak, to bring herself the additional pleasure of spending on her needs.All other family needs are paid from the man’s salary.
If the man’s income is enough and the woman is not eager to exchange the care of the house for employment, then the simplest solution is to issue an additional card to your bank account and just give it to your wife. ”
Anastasia, a bank employee
“At the moment, only the husband works, I receive a care allowance for the second child. Husband pays for food, baby diapers, household chemicals, most of the mortgage payment. I "finish off" the mortgage payment, pay for utilities, school development of an older child, I buy clothes for children more often. I also pay for cosmetics and clothes myself. Small expenses (for example, to purchase the missing products, some necessary things, medicines) are borne by everyone. Large purchases are paid in different ways, often to those who need this purchase more. We agree on the purchase of almost all things that will be used by all family members. We do not coordinate only the purchase of personal belongings.
Ideally, I would like the husband to bear all the main expenses, since at the age of one and a half years I would no longer receive the benefit of the youngest child, and at the moment it’s not quite clear how to close the upcoming budget deficit. ”
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