How to make peace with mom?
Raising a child is a difficult and laborious process that takes a lot of strength, emotions and nerves from parents. In order to develop the correct understanding of “good” and “evil” in babies, mothers and fathers share their own experiences and bring vivid examples from life. The result of instructive conversations is the emergence of personal qualities in the offspring, which will enable him to achieve respect in society. However, children tend to grow up, so the collision of generations can not be avoided.
Unfavorable company and dangerous hobbies, pragmatic outlook on life and disrespectful attitude to the opposite sex - parents can not limit the flow of information into the mind of a child from outside, which also influences the formation of character. Over time, children forget about the kindness with which they have grown a personality out of it. The apogee of misunderstanding comes at the time of the conflict between the raised child and the mother - the person who gave birth, nurtured and put on his feet. The only right decision after a quarrel with his mother - to ask for forgiveness.
Disagreements on domestic soil and excessive guardianship, the conflict of generations and differences in views on life are trifles of fate that do not correlate with the scale of maternal love and care
Common mistakes of children: unsuccessful attempts to make peace with mom
In an attempt to apologize for the deeds committed and the words spoken, the children only worsen the situation. A mother is not a friend, friend, distant relative, teacher or trainer, so the ritual of forgiveness must proceed accordingly. Do not allow the following mistakes in a conciliatory conversation with the mother:
- Do not restore the relationship with your mother in a public place where there are strangers. You will create an uncomfortable atmosphere for dialogue, in which mutual understanding is extremely difficult. You should not endure “quarrels from the hut”, because sincere emotions and feelings are rightly considered intimate, therefore, should remain between the parties to the conflict.
- With the help of gifts to seek the location of his beloved mother is also meaningless, because surprises and presents have no value at all. It is important to her that you realize your own mistake or guilt.It is necessary to solve the problem, and not try to pay off a plush toy or jewelry.
- Establish communication with the mother via the Internet, SMS-correspondence or phone call - another common mistake of children who want to reconcile with a kindred spirit. By such actions, you show disrespect for the parent, with whom relations are in limbo.
- Proving his own right and seeking to restore illusory justice, to make peace with my mother will not work. Your goal is to restore trust and mutual understanding, and not to clarify the relationship.
- To put ultimatums or to put up with certain conditions that a mother must necessarily observe, so that you realize your own wrong - an irrational decision. When starting a conversation, remember who you are communicating with. Parents are people who gave life and brought up a person from you, so choose expressions and “step over” through self-esteem.
If you grew up in order to quarrel with your own mother, then find the strength to recognize the incorrectness of such behavior. Adult people are distinguished by wisdom and poise, which means that the time has come to clearly demonstrate their self-sufficiency.Restore peace of mind, secure internal balance and try to soberly assess the situation.
Even if the mother realized that she was wrong, the child should always take the first step - this is an unspoken rule that children and parents always adhere to.
The scale of the quarrel between the child and the mother
If you are wondering how to make peace with your mother, be sure to consider the extent of the conflict in the search process. The situations that occurred in the relationship of children and parents may be different. The quarrel because of unlearned lessons? Different views on behavior in a public place? Conflict due to poor evaluation? Disagreements over the choice of the person with whom you are going to enter into a legitimate relationship?
The consequences of discord in mutual understanding between the child and the mother directly depend on the relevance of the topic for disputes. If it is important for an adult offspring to remain at one’s own opinion, then a quarrel may end in mutual agreement in stopping communication. Most children who do not control their own emotions in a fit of anger, forget about who they are trying to sort out.Before apologizing for the words spoken and the committed actions, be sure to appreciate how much the mother could take offense:
- A small quarrel.
Problem description: Moms can not get used to it for a long time, that children have already grown up and become independent. Excessive custody and regular instruction often provoke conflicts between the parent and the child. The mother is guided by the position of an adult, trying to protect you from making mistakes.
Solution: "Turn over" the traditional understanding of care. Begin to pay attention to the health and well-being of the mother, be interested in her success at work, offer help. Thus, you will change one of the facets of the worldview of an accomplished person, demonstrating your independence and self-sufficiency.
- Major conflict.
Problem Description: The cause of a quarrel between parents and children often becomes polar views on the situation. Similar disorders are explained by the difference in age and life experience, which is more a priori in mothers.
Solution: Heart-to-heart talk and acceptance of the opinion of an adult is the only way to reconcile.Do not argue with the parent by accepting her vision of the problem in order to protect the health and nerves of your soul mate. Time will dot the "i", and it is extremely difficult to restore the damaged relations. Appreciate the participation of mothers in your life.
- Long absence of mutual understanding.
Problem Description: Unresolved situations from childhood or the critical divergence of views on behavior in society - there can be many reasons for a serious quarrel between mother and child. However, long-term lack of communication becomes more difficult to restore every day. It is important to come to your senses in time, making the first step towards your own mother.
Solution: If you did not find the right words at the time of the quarrel, so that the adult person admitted that he was wrong, then release the situation. To stir up past insults is a pointless exercise. Demonstratively admit your mistakes, apologizing to your mother - this is the only way to restore mutual understanding, which has been missing for a long time.
After the first conflict that occurred in a child with his parents, it is important to think in time about the scale of the situation. To prevent the emergence of new quarrels and disagreements, find out from your mom and dad the reasons for dissatisfaction with your behavior. Try to jointly solve the problems that appeared during the conversation.It is useless to defend and accuse parents, because they have every right to express any thoughts to you. Do not forget about the hierarchy of relations in the family institution.
Parents are the only people who will not turn away from you in a difficult situation, support in grief and share moments of joy.
Recommendations for reconciliation with mom after a quarrel
Do not aggravate relations with your mother by starting a dialogue in an irritated state - listen to the soothing music, exercise, meet up with friends. Just do not discuss the quarrel in a circle of friends and comrades who will always try to take your side in the conflict. Non-objectivity is a dubious method in finding a way out of this situation.
If you have recently had a row with your mother, then use the following recommendations. Observe the sequence of actions indicated in the list in order to exclude the possibility of deterioration of mutual understanding between the parties to the conflict. With the help of the following psychologists' tips, you can come to your senses in time, restoring harmony in a relationship with a loved one:
- Realize the scale of the situation, remember the words that you managed to say to your mother.Left alone with your own thoughts, try to explain for yourself its behavior.
- To solve the problem that caused the conflict, immediately after a quarrel is impossible, because both sides are still in an excited emotional state. Take a pause to “cool down” and miss maternal love.
- Imagine yourself in the place of a second participant in a conflict situation. Project a dialogue in your mind, rationally cocking the spoken words. How would you react to such behavior of your own child? After answering a simple question, you can think about resuming the conversation.
- Take the initiative in restoring mutual understanding with mom. Wait, when she comes to apologize or calls, full of the desire to reconcile - it's pointless. You are a child, which means, a priori, you must first make concessions. Mom has the right to remain offended, giving the offspring time to realize the spoken words.
- Start a conversation with a concise and clear phrase. First of all, apologize for the disrespect and disobedience shown to show your mother a positive attitude. Do not think out loud about offensive words and the cause of the conflict - do not stir up the past.Try to explain your behavior to your mother, but do not get carried away so as not to renew the quarrel. Convert the conversation to the elimination of disagreements and a mutual agreement on reconciliation.
- Secure the restoration of mutual understanding with warm hugs, in which the child and mother will remember the importance of each other. After getting rid of negative thoughts, invite her to spend time together - go to the cinema, take a walk in the park, dine at the restaurant.
Often it happens that the mother does not immediately forgive the child who came to apologize. Staying and begging for location is irrational. Having announced the right words and showing respect to the mother, go to your room or apartment without waiting for an answer. After a short period of time, Mom will contact her, accepting your apology. Silence - an educational measure, which is necessary for the realization of the offense. To force yourself and aggravate the current situation is not worth it, ask for forgiveness, inform about the desire to reconcile and wait.
Remember that we remain children at any age, as long as maternal love is alive. Appreciate the moments of care and affection of the person who gave birth to and raised you.No quarrel is worth the conscious loss of the relationship between mother and child.
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