Inconvenient questions: how to answer them correctly?
In each person’s life, there have been situations in which you do not know how to act correctly in order, so to speak, to “get dry”.
Inconvenient or inappropriate questions from others - this is just one of those situations, it is sometimes so difficult to find the right answer when, in fact, you want to fall into the ground and pretend that you have not heard anything like it at all.
True, for everyone in the concept of a tactless question is something of their own, but in general, it is specifically those issues that make a person feel uncomfortable, there is a desire not to respond, because, in most cases, such issues are touched by the living.
When a person asks you for something that, in your opinion, is not at all within the bounds of what is permitted, it does not mean that he wants to offend you or put pressure on the wound, because for each of these there is a framework of “permissibility”.
It all depends on the level of education, culture and behavior, for example,someone's question "How much did you buy these shoes?" can cause frank indignation, because this is a private matter for everyone. But for some intimate friends, such interest on the part of a friend will not come as a surprise at all, she will also describe the shopping trip in all details, in which store she bought and what discounts there were.
Therefore, the rule number one - do not look for a trick where it is most likely not at all, most often, such questions are asked because of idle curiosity or, more often, to keep the conversation going overall.
But still, sometimes there are situations in which you really do not know how to behave better, how to answer the uncomfortable question correctly, how to get rid of an awkward direction, which the conversation began to gain momentum?
It is not surprising, because no one wants to be in an uncomfortable situation, but, interestingly, such inconvenient questions are sometimes even useful. Than? The fact that they vividly show you exactly those painful aspects of your own life, which, perhaps, should be reconsidered.
Why do you pay so much attention to this problem? Maybe not everything is so bad or, on the contrary,should you focus on it and look for ways to solve it? But work on yourself and the possible deliverance from a sore subject are not bad prospectuses for the future, but what to do in a specific situation? - you ask. There is always a way out.
How to respond to inappropriate curiosity?
Life is theater!
First of all, take it as a rule for yourself: you should not be rude, make an incredibly surprised face and arm yourself with a glare in response to tactlessness, otherwise you risk passing for a strange and unsociable young lady.
In any delicate situation, the right reaction is important, it’s good if you can play with complete indifference or a lack of understanding of the situation, the best option is to bring questions to neutral territory.
Most often, they touch on questions about their personal life, its details and changes, especially if the change is for the better, in fact, does not occur.
Especially this kind of curiosity about the innermost strains of young and inexperienced girls, for example, is a situation: you are 20-25 years old, you have recently been abandoned by a guy, there is no real prospect yet, but it seems like it’s time to get married, children start
Of course, these are all foolish foundations, which for the time being cannot be experienced by modern society, but still with the question: “Are you not yet married?” Or “Did you break up or what? After so many years of relationships? ”You feel at least uncomfortable.
Remember that there will be many such awkward situations in your life, so learn to control yourself, not to panic and not to change all the colors of the rainbow in your face.
Specially exaggerated acting abilities can always come to the rescue: “Oh, yes, I suffered so much, I did not sleep at night, I cried, I died, how can I continue to live - I won’t mind”. The main thing at this moment is to artistically roll the eyes and wring one's hands, and after his successful monologue, smile sincerely.
And what, you told the truth about your own break, but at the same time you were not allowed to get into your soul, turning everything into a joke and your own good mood.
Reply honestly, and you can even with the details
Surprisingly, sometimes people who like to ask uncomfortable questions disarm honesty. To the question “Why are you not married” or “Why do you not have children in any way?” You can always answer quite honestly and sincerely - “I don't know.”And what, because you really do not know why this happens, perhaps you yourself are confused about the reasons, so why not say so?
Such an answer is, in fact, universal, after which it is rare for the interlocutor to immediately think what to ask further on the same topic, therefore, in fact, without saying anything, you get the opportunity to quickly move to a different direction. For example, to ask the same awkward question, let someone else suffer now!
Joke of humor
If you always had a good sense of humor and did not suffer from a limited vocabulary, then it would be extremely difficult to hurt you for living.
Any incorrect question, on which there is absolutely no desire to answer, can be translated into a good, and sometimes even, poisonous joke.
For example, when asked about marriage, you can always answer something like “As soon as - so soon” or “Just a bit - I'll let you know first!” In fact, these are generally universal answers that can be used as a template for any unpleasant question.
The popular phrase of many psychologists - “Do you want to talk about it?” Or the guards - “This is secret information!” Also belongs there.After such a joking reply, it is unlikely that a serious conversation will continue in an uncomfortable direction.
You can always answer a question with a question, and although such a communication option does not belong to the rules of cultural communication, it does not matter, because the question to you also does not belong to the category of decent.
Try to “strengthen” the interest in the topic under discussion, simply by asking the other person a question from the same opera. Sometimes it is worthwhile to show your interlocutor that you really do not understand his heightened interest in a particular area of your personal life. For example, to the question “How much do you get on average?”, You can answer something like “Multiply your salary by 5 and get my weekly income.”
Answer in such a way that the interlocutor becomes uncomfortable for his stupid and inappropriate question, usually the construction “I understand correctly ...” is used here. For example, "I understand correctly that your main concern is my personal life?"
It is always important to remember that you can’t show your confusion and confusion before delicate questions and tactless interlocutors, and sometimes it’s possible to put such a person in his place, especially if you know exactly what you see for the first and last time.
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