Why can not spare a man
Alcoholic pity, because he alone will disappear, sopetsya. A woman paints herself in this terrible picture, grabs her heart from horror and continues to pull on a man who gets drunk every night and certainly does not think to feel sorry for his wife.
Slacker pity, because the villainous leaders are not able to assess his talents and abilities, and what work he will not do for anyhow. To pity and support - the wiser girlfriends taught the poor thing, forgetting to say that it makes sense to support an ethical man with goals, and not a loafer who spends his days sitting around his pants in front of the TV.
They are sorry for the tyrant, because they find him a lot of excuses: he is tired, he has problems at work, he has debts, so he broke down. That is, first a woman regrets a man, as a result of this pity an excuse is born, then forgiveness, and what all this then turns around, we know from numerous stories about domestic violence.
Pity for a man not only makes the man weaker, deprives him of the ability to control the situation, solve something, but also adds trouble to the woman, because all life problems that the man does not solve, ultimately have to be solved by her.Many women live this way and are already so accustomed to multitasking that constant fatigue and lack of time for themselves become the norm for them.
In general, our women love to sacrifice themselves and their interests in any incomprehensible situation. They are afraid to seem too demanding, too cruel towards men.
“My husband tries as much as he can. In addition, we have a mortgage. I am ashamed to ask him to take me to the sea (buy an iPhone, present new earrings). Thinks that I just want to have fun. And I'm not like that. Let him see that I regret him. ” Familiar?
Over time, such ignoring of their interests and desires leads to the fact that a man simply ceases to take them into account. Not asking, it means not. So, it is enough for her that he earns.
Some particularly brazen men know about women's pity with or without and begin to manipulate this feeling, specifically to cause feelings of guilt. From here we get a huge number of families in which a man spends time on the couch watching television, and a woman drags everything on herself, and also thinks of how to please that husband.
For some reason, we never think about the consequences of our behavior. We want the best, we want to take care, and we end up with spoiled lazy people who are not able to solve any problem. Of course, it is necessary to take care of men, but this concern should be manifested not in pity, but in support. If your man is not a fool, not a slacker, do not kill a man in him. Be him support, support, motivator, inspirer, but do not stoop to pity. He is still a man, not a stray kitten.
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